Half a minute math

So there’s this chick, this girlie, this woman if you’re politically correct, and she’s incredibly wicked stupid, right?  I mean stupid like you wouldn’t believe, so stupid it’s painful to hear about.  We’ll call her Marie cause, well, that’s her name.  I think.

I’m not gonna even try to go into all the ways she’s a moron.  Let’s just look at the one example that really can’t be explained away.  She’s making a Hot Pocket, right?  And I tell her to heat it up for two and a half minutes.  So she puts it in the microwave and hits power and sets the time… and sets it for two minutes, fifty seconds.

I stop her.  I say no no, two and a half minutes.  She looks at me funny.  I look at her.  I say real slow like, two and a half minutes.  She looks at the time.  She looks at me.  She says questioningly, that too long?

I lick my lips and nod my head.  She nods her understanding.  She clears the time and tries again, this time shooting for two minutes flat.

I stop her.  I say two and a *half* minutes.  She looks at me, genuinely confused.  I spell it out.  Two minutes, thirty seconds.  She enters it in.  All is well.

Except I have to live with the knowledge that an adult human being, this chick, Marie, doesn’t quite know what half a minute is.  Benefit of the doubt, she wasn’t born in America, but isn’t half a minute the same worldwide?  Is it different in India or Thailand or Budapest?  Is the system of seconds somehow askew?

Or is this one poor, tortured woman absolute proof of a total lack of intelligent life?

Speak Your Mind